As I have been preparing for class tonight and thinking about my own facade I think of the false self that I tend to portray. That self that I want others to see rather than the real me. I guess it goes back to everyone wanting to be liked, or maybe how I see myself being different than my family but still having desires to be the same as what they were at my age. For some reason God had called me to be in ministry, He has called me to be a pastor, a parent, and a spouse. May I one day fully commit to each of these in such a way that I will bless those around me and learn to be who God has created me to be without any need of a facade.

As I have gone through this week and reading from Smith I have found that possessions have been a trap for me in the past, but I wouldn't say so much today. What seems hard for me now is when I get frustrated with people or with people's antics and my mind just wants to shut down and tune everyone out. Fortunately this hasn't happened in the church but it has with my Master's class. I know that it is really all me, my attitude, my frustrations, my problem. So for now I just put up with myself and continue on in this journey called life.

4-9-12

As I continue in reading "the Good and Beautiful Life" I have come to a part in dealing with vain-glory. This sin is one that seems to be a problem for people stuck on themselves in a worldy way and those who are so spiritual that they find joy in just how more spiritual they are than others may be. So it really gets to the question, "What is our motivation for what we do?" Their suggested exercise is to do five things this week for someone else but trying not to let them know. For example helping kids with their homework, washing someones car, opening the door for someone, and more. I like this exercise and hope that it will become more of a habit than a trial.